Dear Alamo Drafthouse,
Hello again from Atlanta! It’s been a week more or less which means it’s time for another unsolicited letter from one of your biggest fans in the southeast region of the United States. Before I get to carried away this week I just wanted to again say thanks to you all for reading along every week as I trudge up the metaphorical mountain. I hope one day you are all there with me as I yell from the mountain top. The mountaintop being a new Drafthouse in Atlanta, and me yelling as me not yelling at all and watching a movie in silence like the rest of the theatre patrons.
I also want you to know that every time I write one of these I picture myself writing them over the course of many many months, maybe years, in one fantastic movie montage. I’ve got a song picked out and everything. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m in it for the long haul. I’ll be here week after week doing proverbial push-ups and literary lifts, in perpetual training to make my dream come true. I’ll keep up the verbal shadowboxing until one day I’m strong enough to lift you all up by the cartful. Is cartful a word? Like artful but with carts. Carts I’m lifting. Maybe I’ve been hit in the head too many times.
The other night, I was up late driving around with my sunglasses on, trying to think of what my next letter was going to be about, when I started having flashbacks to all the movies I had watched at the Alamo. It was almost painful to think of what I lost the day I drove away. I got home and my fiance was there standing at the top of the stairs. I told her I was going to write another letter and she got upset. “YOU CAN’T WIN!” She yelled. She doesn’t believe that Alamo will ever get here. But she doesn’t understand – this is something I have to do, and I’ll do it on my own if I have to.
I won’t let Atlanta break me. Shitty movie experience after shitty movie experience. I’ll take my lumps. I’ll make my will like a piece of iron. No pain. No pain.
I know Atlanta might not be the next best market for you to dive into, but I’m hoping over time that might change. I know that over the course of this campaign my opinion about Atlanta has changed a lot. And if I can change, you can change. Everybody can change.
To the end.
Loyal Alamo Drafthouse Patron
P.S. Yes, I am referring to this magnificent work of art: https://youtu.be/swo51-CG9Ss