Dear Alamo Drafthouse,
Sorry for the late letter this week. When you live in a house with cats and dogs living together it can be mass hysteria. Anyways, I’m back with a new installment this week, hoping beyond hope not to fuck up a good thing. I mean I wouldn’t even write these letters if I felt for a second like they had already been written by someone else, and done so well, say 30 years ago. That would be silly. You could just go read those letters.
For whatever reasons… call it fate, call it luck, call it karma…. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that I was destined to move to Atlanta and write these letters. I know a new Alamo Drafthouse in Atlanta isn’t going to just appear out of thin air, and believe me if I could, I would take a third mortgage on the house my parents left me and start a franchise here in a New York minute. But unfortunately I work at a university, which while not expecting me to really produce anything, does not pay that well either. I guess I could go work for the corporate sector and make more money, but they expect results. With that in mind I’m guessing they wouldn’t touch me with a ten-meter cattle-prod.
That said I’m still hopeful you all find a good property here in town that could work as a Drafthouse location. Hopefully something in a decent neighborhood that doesn’t feel like a demilitarized zone. I know you guys probably have a lot of needs when you’re looking at property and trying to decide whether to build or buy. But there are a lot of cool older buildings that are holding up well, with little or no metal fatigue in the load bearing members or and better than substandard wiring for your power needs. Maybe an old firehouse or something with a built in custom storage facility would work. Honestly, if you found something with a pole, I’m sure the employees would find some creative uses.
Either way once you find a place I’m sure you’ll need some extra help, and my offer still stands. I’m yours to put to work. Believe me, someone with my qualifications could find a top flight job in either the food-service or housekeeping industries. Honestly, if there was a steady paycheck in it, I’d do whatever you say, if it really meant there was an Alamo Atlanta I could take my friends to. I’m just saying – if the day ever comes- give me a call. I’ve quit better jobs than this.
And I truly believe Atlanta is ready for you too. I mean I could be wrong, but I’m telling the truth, at least I think I am. I’m not someone just writing these for attention, or some nutball off the street. If anything it’s past life experience intruding on present time. It’s because I lived in Austin and got so used to a great cinema that now I can’t imagine a world without it.
Listen I know I’m not the key to this whole thing. You are the masters of your own destiny. But know that the gate is open to you here in Atlanta. I’ll be the first person cheering for you on the sidelines if you ever decide to roll up and show ATL how you do shit downtown. Until then I await the sign, when all of our prisoners to Regal and Loews will be released. Until the traveler comes.
Loyal Drafthouse Patron
P.S. Special Edition coming next week with an activity!
P.P.S. FYI “Take me know, subcreature” used as an invitation is surprisingly effective if executed with caution.